


Wistful thinking

by costignam



Category: The Departed (2006)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 10:53:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3647631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/costignam/pseuds/costignam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy has a nagging suspicion that Dignam isn't as much of a hard ass as he plays up to be.. (or hopes... for some reason)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wistful thinking

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so there is definitely not enough Costigan/Dignam out there sadly ~_~ But I really would love for that to change. So much so, that apparently I was willing to take up a less than favorable past time. Seriously, I friggin have always hated an struggle with writing, for school and for whatever. But anyhoo, this is my first fanfiction ever (and probably no one is ever going to read it T-T) . Nevertheless I think these two deserve a little something for all their trouble ;)  
> Disclaimer: do not own any of the characters or anything and do not profit from any of this shity writing.

''Lets meet up sweetheart, let me but you an icecream cone.''  
That deadpan smartass tone was starting to grate on his already jacked nerves and wasn't helping in the least. He really should just get on the plane and leave all this shit behind. Just a bunch of assholes that could give a shit about anything other than saving their own hides or pleasing their top dog master, whether it be out of fear or being too far gone and comfortable in their shity liveslives and stupidity to know that there even existed something more.  
''Meet up!? You actually want me dead!?'' It was probably the most idiotic idea he could remember ever hearing, if not also for some reason the best thing in the world at that moment. He didn't really know when it had started, but for some reason no matter how much Dignam seemed to piss him off, or seemed to have the soul purpose of making him lose it and beat the shit out of him, there was always a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that was only ever registered after there meetings, after he had a moment to come down from his intentionally invoked rage. A feeling that what Dignam did wasn't as pointlessly cruel as he let on. It seemed so stupid and irrational and pathetically hopeful when the feeling first surfaced. Like he desperately wanted someone out there to care, to know that he did exist. So much so that he would put sentiment behind the insult of a man who obviously didn't think much more of him than he thought of the scum he worked to get behind bars. But each time they met up, he became more aware of subtly placed comforts or later remembered how his voice had softened. Dignam made him feel grounded in a way, after fighting or yelling, he would be caught between the problems of his past that Dignam would bring up, and the problems of the present, his mind would blank for a second, forgetting all the roles he had to play for just a moment. It was strange and it didn't make any sense at all really, but he would not question even a moments reprieve, just because it was strange and expected to loose his mind from everything being thrown in his face all at once. The sorrow, the dangers, it all just seemed to short circuit his brain after he let some of his rage out on Dignams face. Queenen should probably be the one that comforts him, he thinks, with his level headed encouragements and assurance. But truthfully, Queenen barely even registers in his mind when they all meet up. That was another thing Billy had noticed at some point. It was an unsettling revelation to say the least. All in all he was fairly cretin something was fucked in his head and possibly in Dignams too.  
''Just calm down alright'' Dignam said as if he were overreacting over nothing.  
''How fuckin stupid do you think I am? You think I would jeopardize the fuckin case? If I say we can meet up then we can damn well meet the fuck up. You think I'm talking out my ass to fuckin comfort you princess?''  
''...'' Billy actually thought about that for a second. Some fucked up part if him really did think Dignam would say that to comfort him the slightest bit, even if he himself was entirely aware of it.  
'All right. Let's meet up.''  
''...''  
''Good.''

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued  
> Comments super welcome


End file.
